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USAF VET-923294

Articles Posted: 111 Links Seeded: 133

Member Since: 3/2009 Last Seen: 5/15/2012

More Laugh Out Loud Moments

Seeded on Mon Jun 1, 2009 6:13 PM EDT

Article Source: Digitaldreamdoor.com

entertainment, humor, strange-news, usaf-vet

Seeded by USAF Vet-923294

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There is a bunch of them one after the other. Here is one:

A Little Gas

"A Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders (about $240)
for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde,
the Netherlands. The vet had been trying to convince a farmer
that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the
vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a "four-legged
flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.
Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000. The cow was
unharmed. AP "

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Public Discussion (37)

USAF Vet-923294

These are pretty funny. Hope you enjoy them! ;0 )

1 vote

#1 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 6:15 PM EDT

Yes those were pretty good, thanks for sharing them!

1 vote

#1.1 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 3:28 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

Glad you enjoyed them, Sorrelen.

1 vote

#1.2 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 3:49 PM EDT

Hi Ben I read your article and found this : http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_6040000/newsid_6046900/6046962.stm

2 votes

#1.3 - Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:19 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

LOL! That is a good one.

#1.4 - Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:30 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

Here is another one:

Don't Defend Yourself - Oklahoma City

Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store
in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district
attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending
himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber.

Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said,
"I should of blown your [expletive] head off!"
The defendant paused, then quickly
added, "- if I'd been the one that was there."

The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.

1 vote

#2 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 8:18 PM EDT

Having worked for a judge for years, this one brought back memories:

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in
March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched
without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer
didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's
jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher,
who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket
and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to
compose himself.

1 vote

#3 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 8:39 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

LOL! Yeah, when I read that, I could see the Judge start laughing and not be able to stop. ;0 )

1 vote

#3.1 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 8:51 PM EDT

I/we had to excuse ourselves a few times. Decorum and all that. It's cool for everyone else in the courtroom to laugh. The judge, not so much.

1 vote

#3.2 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 8:55 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

That makes the story even funnier. ;0 )

1 vote

#3.3 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 9:22 PM EDT

Neenie, I don't think that judge showed much empathy for that man's stupidity.

1 vote

#3.4 - Tue Jun 2, 2009 12:58 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

KJ, but haven't you ever been overcome by the giggles?

1 vote

#3.5 - Tue Jun 2, 2009 1:10 PM EDT

absolutely

1 vote

#3.6 - Tue Jun 2, 2009 2:06 PM EDT

Ok, one time we had a defendant come into court who had missed his trial date two days before, this is two days after Christmas. He said he couldn't get there because he was in Boise, Idaho and snowed in. We were in Woodland, CA. I had just driven in from Boise the day before. The judge called a recess. He and I had a talk in chambers. We had a little laugh in chambers. Court back in session. The judge informed said defendant that madam clerk had returned from Boise the day before and there was nary a flake on the ground. Did he want to try again? He went to jail.

1 vote

#3.7 - Tue Jun 2, 2009 4:47 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

Yep! Sounds like a giggle moment to me. LOL ;0 )

1 vote

#3.8 - Tue Jun 2, 2009 11:31 PM EDT

Ha! That's hilarious! That's a stupid excuse, if you don't know what the weather was there. It would take the Judge, what, three minutes to check?

1 vote

#3.9 - Thu Jun 4, 2009 6:02 PM EDT

Well if criminals had brains a lot of people would be out of a job.

1 vote

#3.10 - Fri Jun 5, 2009 11:33 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

LOL!

1 vote

#3.11 - Fri Jun 5, 2009 1:45 PM EDT

This one is just weird:

From Dan's Paper/The Hamptons

Some local male softball players in the Hamptons who play in a local league are being accused of using the male enhancement drug Viagra to gain an edge during games. Some are suggesting that they give extenz a try. You don't need a prescription for it.

2 votes

#4 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 9:29 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

Yeah.....that is. LOL ;0 )

2 votes

#4.1 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 9:46 PM EDT

It was the extenz part that I found funny. I see the adds late at night, to "enhance that cerain part of your body", that cracked me up!

1 vote

#4.2 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 9:53 PM EDT

But will they have that stupid azz grin on their faces?

1 vote

#4.3 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 9:57 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

I don't know, they are playing with balls. ;0 p

2 votes

#4.4 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 10:03 PM EDT

So you've seen that stupid commercial, too. How about the one with blond and the big ones talking about enhanceing that certain place, LOL! And you get a free extenz drink with each order...I guess you can the drink to the game to enhance your proformance there, too!

2 votes

#4.5 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 10:04 PM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

Bigger.....uh......bats (yeah, that's the ticket) hit harder? ;0 p

2 votes

#4.6 - Mon Jun 1, 2009 10:15 PM EDT

roflmao!

1 vote

#4.7 - Tue Jun 2, 2009 12:16 AM EDT

Here are two more from Dan's Paper:

Stop Calling Me
A man in East Hampton just doesn't seem to be getting the message. The man has been calling a woman he wants to develop a relationship with but unfortunately for him, she isn't interested. The woman called police and they contacted the man and advised him to stop calling her. However, the man continued to call her and was subsequently arrested. We are waiting for details to see whom he called when police gave him his one phone call.

Bicycles
Several bicycles in Montauk were stolen over the weekend. Police are suspicious that it has something to do with the fact that gasoline in Montauk at many of the stations there costs $5 per gallon. Hmmm, ya think?!?!

oh and lets not forget it's the land of the rich and spoiled...I mean famous:

A waiter in Southampton was punched in the face after he had not given enough attention to his customer. The customer became upset after waiting for nearly an hour for service at the restaurant and became so angry that he threw a drink at the waiter and punched him in the face. In the Hamptons, we have very difficult patrons.

2 votes

#5 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 12:15 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

We are waiting for details to see whom he called when police gave him his one phone call.

ROFL...

Police are suspicious that it has something to do with the fact that gasoline in Montauk at many of the stations there costs $5 per gallon.

LOL

As for the Hamptons, the rich guy probably got off without any charges. ;0 (

1 vote

#5.1 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 12:25 AM EDT

You actually have to feel sorry for the cops out there. Sometimes they have a dilema like in this story:

Former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani got into a scuffle with John McCluskey in Bridgehampton. McCluskey was arrested after threatening to hit Giuliani while crossing the street. McCluskey denied the allegations, saying that he criticized Giuliani to his face and when he did, it was Giuliani who threatened to fight him, so he made a threat back in response. The matter is being investigated.

That is because Mr. McCluskey is a multimillionaire and a big wig in East Hampton. So who do you arrest that will give you the least amount of grief; the ex-mayor of NYC or a multimillionaire?

I just love Dans Paper! You even get commentary with the police blotter:

Bros Before Throws
Two brothers were throwing rocks, spitting at a car and screaming obscenities at a woman and her husband at their house in East Hampton. The owner of the house filed a police report. In defense of the brothers, they are certified idiots.

2 votes

#5.2 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 12:42 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

OUCH! That would suck to be the cop in that case.

The owner of the house filed a police report. In defense of the brothers, they are certified idiots.

LOL

2 votes

#5.3 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 1:00 AM EDT

I still have to say that your farting cows was by far the best story!

And why are you 923294? Were all the other USAF Vet numbers used up at NV?, LOL!

1 vote

#5.4 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 1:28 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

I laughed so hard on that one that my sides hurt. I could just see the cow running around like a blow torch. LOL ;0 )

2 votes

#5.5 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 1:32 AM EDT

Yep, I know where to come when I need some heavy laughing.

1 vote

#6 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 1:48 AM EDT

Yep, the two goofballs that are up till the wee hours of the morn' talking about cow farts!

You've come home, LT!

1 vote

#7 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 1:51 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

That be us! LOL ;0 )

3 votes

#8 - Wed Jun 3, 2009 1:54 AM EDT

That poor cow. Vet, that's my favorite story, too. But those stupid criminals. I'm speechless. And glad that they're so dumb, the police can catch them faster and then get on to the next ones.

1 vote

#8.1 - Tue Jun 9, 2009 11:55 AM EDT

USAF Vet-923294

It does keep the police in business. LOL ;0 )

1 vote

#8.2 - Tue Jun 9, 2009 12:20 PM EDT

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